THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE

“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way”

• Shannon Ables –

Acceptance is a skill that you can develop through the practice of mindfulness. Acceptance starts by accepting yourself and your emotions with no judgment or resistance. You cannot accept others, neither the ups nor downs of life, if you don’t learn first to accept who you are.

Unfortunately, we are quick to judge ourselves and others, which is detrimental to our self-esteem. We tend to compare ourselves with successful people to define who we are, or to measure our improvement in a specific area. All while ignoring that comparison may be the beginning of other emotional illnesses such as jealousy, unhealthy competition, and low self-esteem. We don’t need to compare ourselves with others because each individual was created with unique skills according to its role in life and the lessons the soul needs for its spiritual growth.

Why is acceptance important? Because it is part of our emotional healing and contentment in life. Lack of acceptance ALWAYS brings suffering. It leads to thinking that we are not who we want to be, we don’t have enough of what we believe we need, we are not successful enough, rich enough, healthy enough, and on and on…  When we focus on our qualities instead of our flaws, when we feel gratitude for what we have, and accept who we are, then, we can live with joy and peace in our hearts.

Acceptance is NOT RESIGNATION. Resignation is giving up because there is no way to change the situation. The heart may be closed, and the mind  may be resisting and reacting to what is happening. ACCEPTANCE is being open to the experience. It is simply recognizing what is going on without resisting, which helps to cope with a difficult situation. A simple example is looking at the rain, and recognizing that it is raining in that moment, but it won’t be raining forever. The rain will pass, and we can even enjoy it. It is the same with the storms in our life, they will pass. We need to learn to cope with these experiences without reacting.

Let’s consider the example of an alcoholic. In the twelve steps program of Alcoholic Anonymous, the first step is admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction. That is acceptance. The person is not giving up on the addiction recovery and saying well, I can’t stop drinking so I will continue doing it. The individual is recognizing the impossibility of controlling his addiction without help. And at the same time, he is taking wise action to stop drinking by attending the meetings and following the steps to heal. That is ACCEPTANCE.

Acceptance changes not only ourselves but the world. It makes a difference for everyone that crosses our path when we learn the value of unconditional acceptance. I would like to illustrate the power of unconditional acceptance through a story published on firstholistic.com

The story starts here. Please read it.

“

I am a mother of three (ages 14,12,3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. The last project of the term was called “Smile.”

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so I thought, this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch… overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around, I smelled a horrible “dirty body” smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentlemen, close to me, he was “smiling”. His beautiful shy blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, “Good day” as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, “Coffee is all, Miss” because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Thank you.” I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, “I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.”  I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, “That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope.” We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in “my project” and the instructor read it. Then, she looked up at me and said, “Can I share this? “I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we, as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my husband, son, instructor and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

“UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE”.

“’

It is my hope that through this blog article we learned together “The power of acceptance”. I am grateful to the people that share their stories to help us understand the many ways in which God blesses us. I personally feel grateful for the opportunity to write this blog that is teaching me powerful lessons to apply in my life.

Don’t miss our next blog on Friday September 29 when we will finish the series of Powers Developed through the practice of mindfulness with an article about THE POWER OF WISE CHOICE. www.ocipeace.org

If you would like to write an article to be published in this blog, or to share a story to help others in need of emotional healing please send an email to : gladys.gonzalez@ocipeace.org