COMPASSION A PATH TO HAPPYNESS SUCCESS AND BETTER HEALTH

“ We can’t heal the world today, but we can begin with a voice of compassion, a heart of love, and an act of kindness.

• Mary Davis –

Happiness:

 According to the Mayo Clinic www.mayoclinic.org , the desire to help those in need motivates us to act with kindness, which can improve our bond with others and decrease the suffering of those whom we help. Those acts of compassion can make us happier because they are accompanied by a sense of fulfillment.  Human beings need to live a life of purpose to experiment the real joy of life, which is a completely different experience from passing moments of happiness brought about by external events. We can only experiment true joy when it comes from the inside out.

From the scientific point of view, Dr. Kukk, Professor of Social Science at Western University and founder of the Center for Compassion, Creativity, and Innovation explains how compassion releases Oxytocin, a hormone which makes us feel happier and more optimistic.

Success:

Compassion creates highly effective leaders. These leaders focus on developing other leaders, rather than focusing on their personal ego. Bill George, the respected former CEO of Medtronic explains compassion as going from “I” to “We”.

“This shift is the transformation from “I” to “We”. It is the most important process leaders go through in becoming authentic. How else can they unleash the power of their organizations unless they motivate people to reach their full potential? If our supporters are merely following our lead, then their efforts are limited to our vision and our direction… Only when leaders stop focusing on the personal ego needs, they are able to develop other leaders.”

My personal point of view is that success encompasses much more than achievement at work. It includes  fulfillment in family relationships and friendships. If parents teach their children, by example, how to focus on“We” instead of “I”, their relationships will improve and they will experience real success.  Practicing compassion, kindness, and unconditional love for our partners as well as our children will improve family bonds. We can start by experimenting compassion for ourselves,  our own family, our elderly parents, and extended family. If we practice at home, then we will be able to give compassion to entire communities. That is my definition of real success.

Health:

Compassion leads to health benefits. A new study by Steve Cole at the University of California, in L.A. and the APS fellow from Barbara Fredrickson from University of North Caroline at C. Hill, revealed that people who described themselves as being very happy and living with purpose and meaning, had lower inflammation levels. It is well known today that inflammation is at the root of cancer, usually in people who live under high levels of stress. Cole and Fredrickson concluded that a life of meaning and purpose is one focused less on satisfying oneself, and more on focusing on others. It is a life rich in compassion and greater meaning. The results of this study were so impressive that the Stanford’s President, the Dean of the School of Medicine and Dean of the School of Humanities and Science emphasize the importance of compassion at Stanford and beyond. They also have available training for health professionals at the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research.

Harvard University: health.harvard.edu

The University of Harvard emphasizes the importance of self-compassion on its web page health.harvard.edu

“Forgiving and nurturing yourself can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general wellbeing. Self-compassion yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves which reduces anxiety related to depression.”

Tips from Harvard about how to practice self-compassion.

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• Comfort your body

Eat something healthy, lie down and rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.

• Write a letter to yourself

Describe the situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a loss, a poorly received presentation). Write the letter describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.

• Give yourself encouragement

If something bad or painful happens to you think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing was happening to him or her. Direct that compassionated words toward yourself.

• Practice Mindfulness

This is the non-judgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look on the mirror and don’t like what you see, accept the bad and the good with a compassionate attitude.

Remember that if your compassion does not include yourself, you won’t be able to give others what you don’t have. Self-compassion is a priority. Once you learn to feel compassion for your own human condition, you will start to look beyond your own pain, to see the pain of others, and you will be able to help other people, regardless of who they are or what they can give you in return.

Compassion includes a kind gesture, a smile, a word of comfort, a praise for a well job done. It is also about recognizing your own suffering and being kind to yourself.

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